For the sake of all our orgasms…(via Urban Sisterhood)

I have spent all semester producing a publication from scratch called URBAN SISTERHOOD,  a site for young career-driven women that aims to inspire, guide and motivate. I was also allowed to have a bit of fun with an opinion piece on a very real issue plaguing women all around the world. See the original post here: https://urban-sisterhood.squarespace.com/standpoint/for-the-sake-of-all-our-orgasms

We need more female porn directors…for the sake of our orgasms.

Porn is a hot topic of debate amongst feminists. Some are strongly opposed to it, believing it perpetuates misogyny. Most say as long as they’re willing, women should be able to have careers in the sex industry. I am a sex worker advocate and tend to place myself at the latter end of the debate, but I find it concerning that all mainstream heterosexual porn is created by men, for men. These sites can fool themselves with “for women” sections, but it’s the truth. For me, this creates two huge problems: too many women are having bad sex experiences, and female viewers looking to find their orgasms elsewhere are isolated.

There are few heterosexual women who can’t say they have had some terrible sex experiences, ranging from dreary to just plain weird. Worst of all is the amount of women who fake orgasms because they are having such a terrible time, they just want it to be over. So why do so many women have miserable sex experiences? I think mainstream porn has a lot to answer for. I haven’t watched every single pornographic video on every site on the internet, but from what I have seen, most heterosexual porn consists of a woman getting pile-driven by a bald guy with bad tattoos who doesn’t even try to pleasure her once. Some videos cut the man out completely. I can see why this may get guys off, but women, we can physically feel that woman’s discomfort. Most sex education around the world is awful, and as a result, most young people teach themselves about sex through porn. Because porn specifically designed to be titillating to men is what’s available on the mainstream, though no fault of their own, this is what some men believe is pleasurable to women.

Don’t get me wrong, men have every right to continue to consume the porn they want. We ALL deserve earth-shattering orgasms. But I want to see more mainstream heterosexual porn created by women, for women. Because yes, we do masturbate, in fact some of us HAVE TO if we are to ever know what an orgasm feels like. There are definitely prominent female porn directors who have their own websites dedicated to erotica, which is designed to be stimulating to women and looks more like a sex scene from a romantic movie. I would have no idea these sites existed if I had not done extensive research. Why should women have to search the ends of the earth for porn that will actually do something for them, when men have a huge range readily available?

We need more women in higher levels of the porn industry so there is a more diverse range of porn that can be enjoyed equally by men and women. We need to have more options available for heterosexual women besides erotica, most of which tends to look like a low-budget remake of Fifty Shades of Grey. Women have a right to watch mainstream porn and actually feel stimulated by it instead of bored at best, horrified at worst. We need more open discussion about consumption of porn to emphasise that women can be just as sexual as men, and the sex industry needs to accommodate for us too. And if a man should stumble across such a video and learn how to ACTUALLY pleasure a woman, that’s a bonus. The sooner we have equity in all industries, including porn, the better – for women and their orgasms around the world.

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